What do you think just wrote it?

Here's where people go wrong with writing lyrics. It's not always about how many times you can rhyme each line for line. What makes a song great is by trying to not rhyme as much and actually getting a good story told. Don't get me wrong you have potential but with in two lines you go from cereal bowls to stan in the ocean! It's just needs to be dragged out and explained alittle better in my opinion.